Between Clothes and Cameras
by Wombatasaurus
Summary: [Ectofeature] AU where Billy is an alive, fashion crazed employee at a clothing store. When he runs into an aspiring director, things start to get a little more interesting. Fashionista Billy idea from Episode 22. Title by Amy-Kate-chan Storys, and cover illustrated by pumpkinghasart.
1. Mystery Shopper

**Note: Hey there! As you can tell by the summary, this is an AU where Billy is alive as a super suave fashion star. The design and idea of fashionista Billy comes from the episode "The Trouble with Hairy" (episode 22, I believe). It's my first multi-chaptered DTMG fic, but I think it gonna be lots of fun!**

**Now, I know not many people are huge fans of OCs, but I had to put a couple in here just because I didn't want Billy to be lonely. If you read my last ectofeature fic, you already got a little taste of Ash. Please, if you don't like OCs, don't take them seriously.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**"Mystery Shopper"**

Billy makes no effort to cover his loud, wide-mouthed yawn. It's already been an hour since his shift had started, yet the small clothing store only had about two customers, one of which was rung up by Billy's co-worker, Dante.

The stylish cashier stretches his long arms over the black counter, which is splattered with various metallic paints to give it that "cool/hipster" look. Personally, Billy thinks it just looks like something a two-year-old could've whipped up. He looks over at a pile of clothing hangers, picks one up, and hangs it from one of his black gauges. Fun times.

It's no surprise there aren't many customers; Billy works at a small store hidden at the end of an equally small annex in the large Beverly Heights Mall. It is an out-of-the-way hipster store that seems to be too overpriced for some people. The manager, a woman who goes by "Madame X", had aptly named the store X-ternal; and Billy loathes her for it. Honestly, it's as if the lady does everything in her power to ensure that Billy (and Dante) earn lass than minimum wage due to lack of customers; and Billy simply can't handle it anymore.

Growing up, Billy wasn't like most boys. Instead of using sticks as pretend swords and having a strange fettish for fire trucks, Billy preferred to channel his energy to something more creative, such as fashion.

And oh, how Billy loves fashion. He would spend entire class periods sketching new outfits, not giving a single fuck about what his teacher would drone on about. However, now in his mid-twenties, Billy is tired of simple pencil sketches and daydreams. He wants to put his name out in the fashion world, have people recognize his work from a mile away. But for now, it seems as though he has to make do with what he has… which isn't a whole lot.

Plus, it doesn't help that most of the money Billy earns is spent on clothes. Currently, he is clad in an aqua shirt with an olive-green jacket over it, the jacket's collar being a light pink. Billy's jacket has a few multi-coloured buttons on it, and to top it all off (not literally...), his tight jeans are dyed a sharp violet. Normally, an outift with this many colours is considered a fashion train wreck. But because Billy's hair, gauges, and eyewear are so dark, it seems to work for him.

About a minute has passed since Billy zoned out, and now he is proudly donning a chain of clothing hangers from his right earlobe; sort of like monkeys in a barrel. He sighs and slams his head on the counter. Is this really what his life has come to? Apparently so, seeing as how Billy is currently acting pretty childish, even for him and- wait! What is that noise? Is that a customer? Billy stiffens and stops breathing to listen better.

Yes, there is definitely someone else in the store right now. Billy lifts his head from the counter and tries to nonchalantly see who it is. With Dante currently on lunch, Billy is the only one in the store to ring up this "mystery shopper."

There's a bit of rustling coming from the guys' section. Ringing up guys is a little more monotonous than girls (alas, not all men have Billy's sense of fashion), but a customer is a customer.

Billy is about to turn to a random clothing rack to make himself look busy, but accidentally catches one of the hangers from his gauges on a wire rack. It yanks his ear and nearly rips it apart- if not for Billy's quick reflexes. It hurts like hell.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" he loudly hisses as he winces in pain. Billy, quickly realizing there is someone else in the store, freezes. He straightens himself up and unhooks the first hanger from his gauge, letting the chain fall to the floor._ I'll get them later_. He turns backs around to the counter, to busy himself and act as if he didn't just make a crude outburst, when he notices that the "mystery shopper" is right on the other side of the counter, staring at him.

Holy mother of God, Billy thinks. This guy is gorgeous. His reddish brown eyes compliment his sun-kissed skin so well, and his hair! Oh, what demon did he make a deal with to get such thick, chestnut-coloured hair? Sure, it's unruly and looks like a bitch to maintain, but it's the good kind of messy. The really, really hot kind of messy. Billy moves his field of vision to study the guys clothes. They're a bit baggy and don't fit too well with his scrawny-esque figure; just a plain t-shirt and skinny jeans. Billy inwardly frowns; this guy needs help.

The wannabe fashion star looks up at to meet the guy's eyes again. He now has one eyebrow raised. Oh hell, this guy probably thinks Billy's some kind of mental patient now. Just peachy.

Billy clears his throat, which seemed to have gotten dry a while ago. "You, err, need something, brototype?" The guy just looks more confused than before, but replies nevertheless.

"Uh, well, I was wondering if I could use a changing room?" He gestures to a couple of shirts he's holding; shirts Billy was completely oblivious to until now. Billy nods, a little too quickly.

"Sh-sure, they're right over here, Monte Carbro." Billy walks out from behind the counter over to a couple of empty changing rooms. He gestures to them with his thumb. "Take your pick."

Billy is given a curt nod as the guys makes his way over to the dressing rooms. After the guy enters one and closes the curtain, Billy grips onto a nearby clothing rack and tries to steady his heartbeat. God, he looked like an idiot; what was going on just then!? When he's with his friends, Billy is usually the most calm and easy going out of everyone. Now, in the presence of a complete stranger no less, Billy is a wreck.

Thankfully, his short attention span doesn't let him think about the subject for much longer, and his gaze lands on the unoccupied dressing room. It's empty (no shit, really?), but for some reason there's a few articles of clothing left on the bench. Bastards didn't even bother returning them to the front counter. Billy sighs as he goes to retrieve them.

The room is dark and small, which isn't a surprise because for crying out loud it's a dressing room. The walls are painted in a deep purple, and the small bench in the room is covered in rainbow glitter, much to the dismay of customers who don't appreciate buying clothing covered in sparkles. On the wall is a mirror, and on the bench, a pile of clothes; the reason Billy is here in the first place.

Billy picks up a shirt from the bench and starts to fold it (what type of shirt is up to the reader's imagination to decide!). The rustling of fabric can be heard coming from the other dressing room, which is directly adjacent to the one Billy's in. He pauses his folding and looks around, really for no reason. When Billy's eyes land upon the ceiling, he groans in disdain. Hanging on the ceiling is a cobweb. A dirty, old, disgusting cobweb.

Not in the mood for housekeeping, Billy reluctantly climbs onto the bench to get rid of the audacious cobweb hanging on the ceiling. He picks up a clothing hanger from the bench, as he would never in a million years touch something so filthy with his bare hands. As Billy is standing on the bench, he notices that the cobweb is directly above the short wall separating the two changing rooms.

He tells himself no. No, Billy. Fight the temptation. Resist the urge to look over the thin, purple wall and see the super hot customer change out his clothes... Yeah, there's no way in hell Billy's passing this up. He bites his lip before getting onto his tiptoes, careful not to make a sound. He cranes his neck to see over the wall, just enough for his eyes to poke out on top of the plywood divider. Billy nearly faints.

There, a mere few feet from Billy, is an angel- no. A god! He had just taken a shirt off, and is now trying to get the hanger off of another one. Little does the zambroni know, he is being watched. Billy covers his mouth with one hand to make sure he is silent. The guy looks in the mirror as he is about to put a Batman shirt on, and it is only a second before he sees Billy's face in the corner of the mirror. His eyes widen and his jaw drops to the floor.

Billy ducks behind the wall and slips on a shirt that's still on the bench. He falls onto his rear, causing quite the scene as clothes and hangers fly in the air. Cringing, Billy hears the customer storming into the changing room he's in. The employee looks up to see the customer standing in the doorway, looking angry, creeped out, and in shock. _Friggin perfect__._


	2. Aww, Billy You're Not a Perv

**Chapter 2**

**"Aww, Billy. You're Not a Perv."**

The first thing Billy notices is that the guy is still shirtless. The second is the look in his eyes. Billy wants to disintegrate into the pile of clothes and never return, but that simply isn't an option. Flaming brown eyes stare into Billy's, waiting for some sort of explanation. When the customer does not receive said explanation, though, he takes matters into his own hands.

"What the hell was that?" he whispers, and Billy can just see the steam coming from the top of his head. But Billy can't immediately answer. Instead, he lowers his shoulders and tries to seem as calm as possible, proceeding to stand and brush himself off. A few articles of clothing fall to the floor, and the guy stares at them, then back up at Billy. Now that he is less nervous, the store clerk gives the brunet and answer.

"Look, Brohemian Rhapsody, I'm really sorry 'bout that. There was a cobweb," he points to the ceiling, "and all I was trying to do was get it down."

Lips pursed, the guy stares at Billy. Probably thinking something like "Is this guy for real?" Still under the stranger's harsh gaze, Billy bends down to pick up the clothes that have fell. With a disgruntled-sounding sigh, the customer exits the small dressing room and goes to the one he had just abandoned. Billy is extra prudent in his motions as he takes the clothes over to the counter to be folded.

A little bit of time passes, and soon Billy looks up from his folding work when he hears the guy come out of the dressing room, wearing the shirt he wore when he came in and his arm full of others. All folding ceases when the customer approaches the counter, while also taking out his wallet. _Holy shit, he's actually gonna buy them._ Billy tries to act nonchalant and looks down at the shirts on the counter.

"Ahem."

Billy looks back up again and sees that the guy is in front of the counter again.

"You, uh, gonna buy those shirts, broseph?" The customer doesn't say anything, but nods as he hands Billy the articles of clothing, which are immediately run up. As he scans the shirts, Billy decides to give the guy some fashion advice.

"You know, you could wear the green long sleeve under the Ghostbusters tee because... you know, ghosts."

The guy looks at Billy for a nanosecond before giving his attention back to the clothes and acknowledging the clerk with a "Huh". At least it was progress.

As he is just about to complete the whole transaction, Billy pauses and thinks to himself for a moment. A brilliant idea pops into his head, and he is very tempted to make that wicked smirk-face-thing that the Grinch makes... but he doesn't. Instead, he looks up and clears his throat.

"That'll be $34.85... but if you, uh, sign up for a membership, you'll get 30 percent off of all these." The guys raises an eyebrow, as if to say he couldn't care less about some stupid discount. Even though Billy already gets the point, the shopper lowers his brow and shakes his head.

"That's okay, I'll just pay full price."

_Dammit_, Billy thinks. His plan is already falling apart. Desperate for said plan to work, he goes on. "But with a membership, you can get new deals every week. Plus, it's free."

Billy can see the look in the guy's eyes. It seems like he is just too tired to put up a fight, and decides that, as they say, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"Fine, I'll get a membership." _Awww yes! Okay Billy, stay cool. You've made it this far_.

"Suave. Okay, so you just hafta answer a couple questions so we can send you discounts or whatever, and you'll be signed up."

The guy puffs up his cheeks and let's out a long breath. "Okay then, ask away."

"Alrighty... Name?"

"Spencer Wright."

Billy glances up at him as he types the name in. Yeah, Billy guesses he looks like a Spencer. "Birthday?"

"February 2nd, 1993." So he just turned twenty-one. Huh.

"Phone number?"

"421-7939." It isn't hard to hear the vexation in "Spencer's" voice (Lordy, Billy finds it weird to refer to him like that in his head).

"Uh huh, and... last but not least, address?"

"6125 Malloy Avenue." Billy hums and nods, and when he's finished typing, emphasizes his tap on the enter key.

"Okie dokie, John Stambros. You're signed up now!" Billy finally finishes the transaction and Spencer swipes his debit card with a little "huh" at Billy's exclamation. After putting the clothes in a plastic shopping bag, Billy hands the purchases to Spencer. "Have a good one!" He says with a smile, brightly daubed on his face.

Spencer nods and takes the clothes, giving Billy a quiet "you too" as he exits the store. When Billy is sure that Spencer is out of the store, his smile vanishes as he sighs and slumps over on top of the counter.

_'Have a good one.' Have a good what? Have a good time trying to forget that that you've been sexually harassed by a 25 year old man that still wears little-plushy-duckie-slippers?_ Billy bites his lip.

His plan actually worked. Now, he not only knows the guy's name, but he knows his age, phone number, where he lives... This wasn't how Billy wanted to be. He never wanted to be a creepy perv working at some hipster store in the mall. Yet here he is, violet coloured pants and all.

Poor, poor Billy.

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><p>"Guys suck," Billy's friend, Ash, states as she takes a bite out of a chicken nugget. The two of them are sitting together in the food court, both on their lunch breaks; though, Billy doesn't feel like eating today. There are too many butterflies in his stomach, and he has yet to tell Ash about his little... encounter, from earlier this morning.<p>

"How so, Babe-roham Lincoln?" As much as Billy loves Ash, he can't help the slight tinge of annoyance emitting from his question.

She sighs and tugs on her short, cotton-candy pink hair. Ash is quite the character. She currently works at the small "World of Anime" store, on the opposite side of the mall from X-ternal. Her uniform consists of a white polo shirt with the letters WOA embroidered onto it. Today she opted to wear red cargo shorts with a small black bow in her hair.

When Ash doesn't answer Billy's question, he knows the only thing to do is to pry.

"What did he forget this time?" It seems, to Billy, as though he is saying this phrase more and more often; the "he" being Ash's boyfriend.

"That son of a bitch left me sitting on the front steps of the library until ten! Jegus, he said he would pick me up at nine, but apparently he had to 'help his mother' or something." Billy lets out a sympathetic sigh. The main characteristic that is prominent in both him and Ash, is complete and utter narcissism. If the world doesn't revolve around them, it might as well not even exist.

Ash looks up at Billy, suddenly realizing the she is acting just a tad bit bitchy. Just a tad.

"Sorry, dude."

"Oh no, baber-tooth tiger. I was just thinking about this one thing that happened today." Ash's eyes widen in curiosity. She scooches her chair closer to Billy's, looking sort of childish.

"Well, go on," she demands. "What's up?" Billy blushes. The previous events from that morning aren't ones he's gonna write home about. Well, maybe if his home is a mental institution. Acting uncharacteristically bashful, Billy scratches the back of his neck and looks at some random vending machine in the distance.

"Well, there was this guy..."

"Was he hot?"

"Yes."

"Called it." Ash mentally pats herself on the back, while Billy seems to get rather frustrated for being so predictable.

"Yeah, well... there was this hot guy, and well... something happened."

"Like what?"

"I, er... took a tiny peek at him in the changing room and he, uh, caught me." Ash doesn't seem phased by this at all.

"And?" Billy looks at her, confused. She lets out an exasperated sigh and continues. "What's his name? How old is he? Do you think he'll come back to X-ternal?"

"His name is Spencer Wright, he's only a few years younger than me, and I highly doubt he'd wanna come back to a store that employs pervs like me."

"Aww, Billy," Ash coos as she rubs Billy's shoulder sympathetically. "You're not a _perv_. You were just curious."

Billy snorts. "Try telling that to him."

"Well, at least he didn't seem too pissed. Otherwise, he wouldn't have given you his name."

"Well, er... he kinda only did that because I sorta made him get one of those membership-card-thingys."

Ash mock-gasps and takes her hand off of Billy's shoulder. "Baruch Cohen! You should be ashamed of yourself! Misusing the sanctity of the membership-card-thingy just so you can know this hot dude's name?"

Billy rolls his eyes. Even if Ash is joking, Billy doesn't like it when people use his real name. Sure, when he becomes a famous fashion designer, it would look pretty suave on a label. But for the time being, he is a normal guy working in the mall, and he is going to be called Billy (Joe Cobra... just for kicks).

To show his distaste in "that name", Billy decides to fight fire with fire.

"Well if you must know, Nah-tah-shah, I was helping him get a 30 percent discount on his purchase!" Billy makes sure to emphasize every syllable of Ash's real name, causing the "pinkette" to pout.

"Not cool, man." Ash doesn't like to be reminded of her strict, Russian upbringing. Her parents had just moved from the tiny town of Frunze when they had Ash, and decided to give her a beautiful Russian name: Natasha. With that said, Ash was always expected to sit with the "Russians" during lunch, and wear "sensible" clothes growing up. But, unlike most of her Russian kin, Ash soon became fascinated with anime and tumblr, which is why she cut and died her hair, moved away from her family, and now works at the only anime store in town.

Billy gives Ash his best puppy-dog face. "I'm sorry."

She gives him a bigger pout and stuffs a chicken nugget in her mouth. Billy bats his long, black eyelashes and Ash pretends to groan. "Augh! Fine, I forgive you... maybe."

The X-ternal employee just grins and shrugs. "Good enough for me." He is returned with a lighthearted laugh as Ash wipes her hands on a napkin. Turning to Billy, Ash's face softens a bit, giving her a maternal-type expression.

"Don't worry, Billy; it's not the end of the world. Plus, who cares if he doesn't go back to the store? Wouldn't that be better because you don't have to feel... shit, I dunno. Awkward?" Billy bites the inside of his cheek. That was pretty true, but he really wants to see Spencer again because, hot damn, he's gorgeous.

After not getting a reply for a while, Ash checks her phone, then gasps melodramatically. "Well, it looks like my lunch break is just about done, so I'd best be heading out." She picks up her food and stands up from her chair. "Bye bye, Billy." She gives him a wave and begins to walk away.

"Ciao." It's halfhearted and drawn on for too long, but Billy doesn't care. He sighs and looks at the now empty table. There's still about ten minutes left of his break, and he doesn't even have food to keep him occupied. The rest of the day is going to be shit.

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><p>Well, it wasn't entirely shit, Billy figures out as he comes home. It was actually pretty uneventful, but Billy still feels extremely tired once he comes back to his little studio apartment. It's pretty bare; there's a bed, an arm chair, a lap top, and a desk to sketch designs. He doesn't bother kicking off his shoes and heads straight to the fridge to find something edible. There's nothing, as per usual.<p>

With a loud groan, Billy slinks away and flops onto his bed, causing his laptop to bounce a bit. He stares at it. Hmm... maybe a Netflix marathon could get his mind off of Spencer and fucking his perfect body... wait wait, no! His _perfect fucking body_. That's exactly what he's thinking of... not the other thing at all.

So, with an empty stomach, four hours of old cartoons embedded into his cranium, and a tiny voice in the back of his mind continuously scolding him, Billy finally manages to fall asleep.


	3. Promotion Commotion

**Chapter 3**

**Promotion** **Commotion**

Waking up in the morning proves to be too much effort, but Billy endures it and rolls off his bed, landing on the floor with a thud. He groans and cranes his neck to check the time on his alarm clock that's sitting peacefully on the windowsill. It's 9:42, not early… but Billy wishes he had gotten more beauty sleep. The only thing worse than feeling like crap is looking like crap. Good thing he has a later shift at X-ternal on Wednesdays.

With a grunt, Billy pushes himself up and rakes a hand through his dark hair, which is kinda hard to do because there's still some styling gel left in it. He reminds himself to never buy this new brand again; the old one was much better.

After taking care of his daily hygiene routine and dressing himself in yet another hella stylish outfit (this one consists of a tweed jacket and a candy red scarf), Billy heads out of his flat at about 11:30, messenger bag in tow. There's a bus that comes by at around twelve, and that gives him just enough time to head over to the corner store to buy a quick- albeit overpriced- breakfast.

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><p>A brisk midday walk is just the sort of thing Billy needs. It's cloudy, but the faintest rays of sunshine make their way through at times. Billy loves it. There's also some wind, which is blowing his scarf around a bit, making for a really suave-looking effect. Yup, this is the life.<p>

Now, in Beverly Beverly Heights, most of the movie stars and big shots live outside of the actual city in their big, beach front mansions. But Billy, being neither a movie star nor a big shot, lives in the more central metropolitan area. Work is just a short bus ride away, and there are plenty of shops close to his apartment building.

One of these shops in particular is a tiny corner store about a block away. Billy normally comes here for breakfast if he runs out of groceries, which happens more frequently than he'd like. The store keepers know him well and always remember to give him the biggest peanut butter cookie whenever he comes by. He is, after all, a very loyal customer.

There's the ever prominent sound of bells jingling as Billy opens the door. The heavenly scent of baking cookies wafts in the air as he makes his way to the counter where, obviously, all the baked goods are sold. The store is owned and run by a nice Indian family, and Billy recognizes the girl behind the counter to be Shanilla. She's talking to someone on the phone, but smiles when she sees Billy, raising an index finger as if to say "Give me a second."

Billy nods and stands in place patiently, surveying the rest of the store as he waits. There's a few people milling around, and Billy can hear the whines and shrieks of a little toddler. He nearly zones out entirely, until Shanilla's soft voice gets his attention.

"Okay, I have to go now. Bye, Spencer." Billy glances at Shanilla, who is tucking her phone away in her pocket. Spencer... that name sounds _very_ familiar. _Oh God_. Oh God oh fuck, Billy remembers it all now. What happened yesterday, and the guy, and the changing room... but no. This can't be the same Spencer, could it? There are plenty of 'Spencers' in the world, right? There's probably a one in one billion chance they're the same Spencer. Still... the name is making Billy remember everything from yesterday, and now he kinda feels sick to his stomach.

When Billy looks at Shanilla again, she's already holding a tiny paper bag that contains the peanut butter cookie she knew he was gonna buy. Billy gives her a weak smile and takes the bag.

"Sorry about that, baberina." He pulls out his wallet from his bag and hands her a five. Shanilla chuckles to herself as she gives Billy his change and receipt.

"It's fine, Billy. Are you okay today? You seem a bit off."

Augh, this is not a situation Billy wants to be in. He doesn't want to let Shanilla actually know what's going on, but then again, he doesn't want to lie to her either.

"Uh... well," Billy's eyes magically find a clock on the wall behind Shanilla. "Well, would ya look at the time? Sorry, babetato, I gotta go! Can't be late for my bus! Ciao~" Billy books it out of the store, his grip tightening on the cookie. He wasn't completely lying though; he had only five minutes until the bus arrived.

But seriously, _babetato_?

Come on, Cobra. Even _you _know it sounds stupid.

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><p>It's 12:31 when Billy steps inside X-ternal. Ah well, punctuality can eat dirt for all Billy cares; he's just glad he made it to the bus stop on time. Surprisingly, there's a couple of people in store already. And of course, by couple I mean a single customer and another employee.<p>

Billy walks over to the back room to put away his messenger bag and then goes back out to stand behind the counter with Dante Robinson, the only other employee at X-ternal.

"'Sup, brovolone cheese."

"Wow, Billy. It's like you save the worst bro puns for me."

"Only because you're beautiful."

"Only because I'm black." Dante stares at Billy with a grim expression for a few seconds before cracking up, Billy following suit.

Dante is a pretty chill guy. He moved to the coast to surf, and he stills does... if he isn't working. Being the fit guy he is, Dante has a pretty buff build, which he likes to show off by wearing bro tanks and tee shirts. The main reason he works at X-ternal is because they have hours that work for him, but other than that, he practically loathes the place.

"You're early today," Billy says out as he takes out his name tag from a drawer underneath the counter. Dante groans shakes his head in response

"Nope. Not early at all. I talked with Xanders about getting longer hours because I really need the money. For a new board, ya know?"

Larissa Xanders, or as she likes to be called, "Madame X." Seriously though, if you're gonna make up a name, make up something cool (like "Billy Joe Cobra" or "Ash"). Anyway, regardless of her preferences, Billy and Dante just like to refer to Madame X as "Xanders" or "evil bitch." It rolls off the tongue a lot easier.

Plus, it's not like they call her a bitch just for the sake of fun. She is a horrendous human being and in the past has nearly screamed at Billy and Dante, for no reason, while there were people in the store.

She is also a major creep, and has had countless attempts to get her and either of the boys alone together to do God knows what. However, Billy had made it very clear to her that he is 100% gay, and Dante threatened to quit if she ever tried anything on him. Still, some could still catch Madame staring at her employees on multiple occasions. They never get much sleep after that.

"Speaking of which," Dante goes on, "she called in this morning and said she was gonna come in today."

Oh shit. Madame X rarely actually shows up at X-ternal itself (thank the gods), but if she ever does come to the store... there will be hell to pay.

The more Billy thinks about it, the higher on the "Oh Shit-o-Meter" he gets. What if Madame found out about the little stunt Billy pulled yesterday? He had told Dante about it (which had earned him a few snarky comments), but would a broworker really rat out another bro like that? Hopefully not.

"Great... mother fucking bromazing," Billy mutters.

Dante snorts. "I know, right?" The front of the counter is now graced with the presence of a teenage girl, ready to spend too much money on something that she'll probably forget about in a month's time.

As Billy pins on his employee name tag and Dante sells a magenta snapback to the girl, both men can hear the distinctive_ click click click_ of Madame X's heels on the hard flooring. They try to remain as calm as possible, so as not to provoke her in any way.

The clicking has stopped and Billy looks up to see Madame standing relatively close to the counter, arms crossed and face blank. Oh no, usually Madame is pretty open book with her expressions, and at least Billy can brace himself for whatever will come next. But vacant faces are tricky. There's no telling of what is going on in her head.

When Dante is finished with the customer and the girl makes her way out of the store, Madame plasters a smile on her face and calls out to her, "Come back soon!", only to turn back to her employees with a face that can only be described as demonic.

"Alright you half-wits, we need to talk. Now."

"Shouldn't we have a staff meeting for this sort of thing?" Billy asks. Stalling is just another one of The Cobra's many talents. "I mean, the store's still open and there could be people coming in-"

"Do you see any people?" Madame cuts off, gesturing at the store for emphasis. Sure enough, there isn't a soul in the place... besides Billy, Dante and herself, of course. Moving to stand directly in front of the counter and resting her hands on her hips, the Grand High Bitch continues talking. "Actually, that's exactly what I came to talk with you idiots about."

Yes! Joy! Rapture! This isn't going to be about Billy potentially getting fired for yesterday's escapade! Said employee mentally wipes an anime-sized bead of sweat from his forehead and resumes listening to his boss.

"As I'm sure you both know, our sales have been declining at very high rates. And you may ask yourself 'Well why are they declining? I'm doing my job, just like every other nincompoop on the planet!' And yes, I'm positively certain you both are doing your jobs; the problem is that you both are terrible at it."

Billy catches Dante rolling his eyes at the statement, and he can't help but agree. It isn't their fault that this store is a bloody failure; there are plenty of other elements contributing to the sales' downward spiral. These elements include, but are not limited to: high prices, little variety in clothes, and the fact that there are many other (cheaper) stores just like X-ternal in the mall.

"So," Madame practically shouts,"we need to think of some ideas to get you two off your lazy asses and start working _and _ideas to get more customers."

Ah, yes. There comes a time in every small business's life that the employees must think of some sort of promotion. However, even with a promotion, Billy is a bit skeptical of any "new ideas" actually working with bringing in more customers.

"Well…" Dante drawls, stretching his arms above his head. "Call me crazy, but I think a great way to get more people to come here is to lower the goddamn prices."

Madame pretends to gasp and puts a hand to her mouth. "Oh my God, Robinson, that's brilliant! I wish I could've thought of that!"

"Lay off, Xanders," Billy chimes in. "He's got a point. Why does everything in here have to be so expensive?"

Madame groans and tilts her head back, massaging her temples like the drama queen she is. "Because otherwise we wouldn't make any money at all! When we get more customers, then we'll start lowering prices."

Normally Billy, like any other sane person, would disagree with Madame. But, what she just said did make sense, and that's what's frustrating Billy right now. How is he supposed to come up with some kind of store promotion when nobody would want to buy anything?

As she lowers her hands back down to her hips, Billy notices that there seems to be a figure waiting behind Madame. This "staff meeting" about getting more customers had better hurry up, or else X-ternal will end up losing more than before.

Dante seems to have noticed too, because now he's giving Madame a look while not-so-inconspicuously clearing his throat. Madame get the picture and rolls her eyes, licking her lips before speaking again.

"I'll come by again tomorrow and each of you better have some ideas." The two employees nod and Madame gives them a "Hmph" in response, turning around to leave the store. Of course, at the sight of the customer, she smiles and apologizes for making them wait so long. Taking long, mechanic strides, Madame then disappears from X-ternal for the day.

Billy and Dante exchange looks before the latter heads to the back room, informing Billy that he needs to take some aspirin. It's not like Billy can blame him; people like Madame X should come with labels reading WARNING: EXPOSURE FOR PROLONGED PERIODS OF TIME MAY CAUSE HEADACHE, NAUSEA, AND ALL AROUND UNPLEASANTNESS.

The sound of someone coughing wakes Billy up from his daydream, and he then remembers the person that was waiting behind Madame for eternity. Shaking his head a bit to fully get his mind out of the clouds, Billy turns his attention to the potential customer.

"Sorry, brorangutan. What can I do for y-" Billy's jaw drops. Just his luck: standing in front of him is none other than Spencer Wright.

And Dante just _had to leave _to get aspirin.


	4. A (Business) Proposal

**Chapter 4**

**A (Business) Proposal**

_Okay, Cobra. Keep your cool. Stop monologuing in your head. Oh shit, you've been waiting for too long. He's gonna think you're a bigger weirdo than before. Say something._

"Uh… you're back soon."

To Billy's surprise, Spencer smiles and scoffs, probably at the abruptness of the statement. His composure is quickly regained, however, and his face is once again serious. "Yeah, well..." Looking at the tag on Billy's jacket, he tries to address the other by his name."...Billy. I needed to return this."

Billy's name doesn't even sound like his own when spoken by Spencer. It sounds different; like it's in some sort of foreign, beautiful language. Giving his attention back to Mr. Wright himself and not just his voice, Billy notices he's holding up a shirt. It is quickly identified by Billy as the Batman shirt Spencer was _going _to try on before Billy… well, you know.

Soon becoming aware of Billy staring at the garment, Spencer continues talking to break the awkward silence. "Yeah… turns out I already have the _exact same shirt_, so uh… no point in keeping this one."

"Mmm hmm," is all Billy can muster as he nods, not wanting to take the chance of sounding like a fool upon speaking. However, his plan is short lived, and he utters the few words that all sales clerks must say when making a return. "Do you have your receipt?"

Spencer mumbles a "Yep" and reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, then fishes out the receipt he got from yesterday. He sets it on the counter and Billy pretends to be scrutinously inspecting it, as well as trying to keep his blood pressure down to a normal level.

Okay, maybe he's just making too big of a deal out of this. Spencer's just returning a shirt, and he doesn't even seem too weirded out by our esteemed protagonist, right? With a shaky hand, Billy makes the transaction of returning Spencer's shirt, and thank God too. No one as gorgeous as Spencer should have to wear something so… tacky.

Just then, Dante finally decides to emerge from the back room, the fingers of his right hand pressed against his temple. He casually gets into his spot behind the counter with Billy, but instead of getting some odd greeting from another planet, he's completely ignored by his co worker. The surfer soon realizes why this is, as he sees Billy timidly handing money to some brown-haired twig on the opposite side of the counter.

Oh. _Oh._ When Billy had given Dante the skinny on what happened yesterday, he had failed to leave out a single detail… including the ones about Spencer's aesthetic appeal, so it's pretty easy for Dante to tell that the guy stuffing his wallet back into his pocket is definitely the infamous Spencer Wright. God, if Dante hears about how "warm" Spencer's eyes are _one more time_, he is going to lose his shit.

Billy is quick to acknowledge Dante's presence, and tries to act as casual as possible. He fake yawns and stretches, hoping his acting skills are convincing enough, and turns to his acquaintance. "You feeling better, Broba Fett?"

"Yeah," Dante replies, and quickly glances at this Spencer character who still hasn't left his spot and is staring at the ground with pursed lips. It looks like he's waiting for something. Quick to pick up on signs like this, Dante reaches under the counter for a clipboard and starts heading to the opposite side of the store, informing Billy that he's going to do inventory.

Poor Billy is now in one hell of a tizzy. Dante was his life preserver, his shield! Now he's left alone with Spencer again… who for some reason is still standing in front of Billy, even though he already got all of his money back and everything. Billy quirks an eyebrow and bites his lip.

"Everything… okay, bro?"

It seems as though Spencer was spacing out a bit, just as Billy had done so many times today alone. He blinks a bit and looks at Billy, eyes wide and mouth agape. "W-what? Oh, yeah. I just wanted to say… about yesterday-"

Just the sheer look on Billy's face is enough to cut him off. Any sign of life or colour has drained from the young employee's face, and is now pooling in his stomach, just waiting to be regurgitated. Billy knew it, he fucking _knew_ that he wouldn't get away with it so easily, and now all he has to do is wait for the bomb to drop.

"...I just wanted to say that, even though I'm still pretty hung up about whatever the hell happened yesterday…" He inhales and sighs. "I... there's no hard feelings, okay?" The last sentence is rushed, and Billy can't really tell whether or not Spencer seems like he regrets saying it, but it's still enough to make Billy forget any sick feeling he had earlier.

"Really? That's…" Billy is at a loss for words. Awesome? Fantastic? MOTHER FUCKING SUPERB? "...great. And, I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Like, really-extremely-bronormously sorry, and I will do anything to make it up to you."

Billy notices Spencer sigh again, and the fashionista braces himself for… something. He isn't quite sure what, though.

"Funny you should say that, cause there's also another reason why I'm here." Billy finds himself caught in an unofficial staring contest, and he doesn't want to be any part of it. What other reason could Spencer possibly have? The brunette timorously shoves his hands in his pockets and looks to his left. "I'm not sure how to really say this, but… I'm kind of a director. Not of anything really major, but I like to make horror films. Like, short horror films."

As Spencer turns his head to look at him again, all Billy can think is: _That's great, dude, but remind me why this has anything to do with you coming back to this God forsaken retail store? _

"And, well, you seem like a pretty... fashionable guy," Spencer continues, giving Billy the slightest self-esteem boost. "Plus, yesterday you said that thing about the Ghostbusters tee, so... I guess what I'm asking is if you want to work as a costume designer for an upcoming film I'm making? For a film festival?"

Christ on a bike, what is happening? One minute, it seems like Spencer might regret forgiving Billy; and now he's asking him to work together on a movie. A _horror movie_ no less. It's almost impossible for Billy to comprehend any of this, let alone respond in less than a matter of hours. Besides, it doesn't seem to morally right for him to say yes. Just the prospect of accepting washes his entire body over in a wave of guilt, nearly making him ill. Billy officially decides to politely decline Spencer's offer.

"Um, yeah sure. Sounds suave, Brohemian Rhapsody."

A groan is heard from the peanut gallery: Way to go, Billy. Vetoing his own official idea has now put him between a rock and a hard place, and if that hard place eventually happens to be his groin, then so be it. Because now Billy can't back out- lest he seem like a tool- and he'll have to spend time with the very guy that makes his stomach churn for the best and worst reasons.

"Really?" Spencer looks a bit skeptical. "Wow, um… okay. Though, I think I should let you know that it's pretty low budget, and I'm no King Midas, so... are you okay with not really getting _paid_? 'Cause this can count as the way you 'make it up to me.'"

Truth be told, Billy wasn't even expecting Spencer to pay him. He was too ardent and terrified to even think of money. A nervous chuckle reverberates from the ravenette's throat. "It's all good. I don't really need extra money anyway." Liar.

Spencer nods. "Cool. So, just want to give you a heads up, it's the Apex Film Festival, so it's kind of a big deal. I mean, thousands of people attend the festival itself, and the videos are later posted on their website, which gets tons of hits. So, just wanted you to know that I'm sorta expecting top notch work."

And then it hits Billy: lots of people are going to see this short film Spencer's making, Billy is in charge of wardrobe, and he also needs to come up with a promotion for Madame X. By simply using clothes from the store, he'll save money from the movie's budget, _and_ have a surefire way to promote X-ternal. Oh yeah: this is genius.

"Don't worry about top notch work," Billy reassures. And with a surge of his usual confidence, he gestures to his current outfit. "Have you seen the way I dress?" This earns Billy a genuine smile from the self-proclaimed director, and boy is it beautiful.

Sadly, the smile quickly fades and Spencer raises an eyebrow, as if reinforcing his last statement. Billy is suddenly all business as well (as 'all business' as Billy can get), and he tries corroborating once again. "But yeah, I won't let you down dude. In fact..." Now is Billy's chance to share his little idea of using the clothes from X-ternal. "...you know what I could do? I could designs the outfits, but just use clothes from here. I get a 25 percent employee discount for everything here."

Billy crosses his toes inside his shoes (crossing his fingers would look childish) and hopes this will work. He _really _needs this job at X-ternal, and getting fired because he couldn't think of a way to boost sales is not his ideal way to leave. Maybe in the future he'll quit working for this hell hole; but for now, promoting the store through Spencer's movie is the only chance he has.

After skimming the inside of the store from his place in front of the counter, Spencer turns back to Billy and gives him an affirmative nod. "Alright." Billy's face immediately lights up, and if his pant's weren't so tight, he would've cartwheeled into next week. It's safe to assume that Billy is both excited and relieved. He continues talking with the happy demeanor he regained.

"Sweet. And, would it be too much to ask if there could be something saying that the costumes were provided by X-ternal in the credits?"

"Fine by me," Spencer replies casually, and it puts Billy in an even happier mood (if that's possible), because now it seems as though all of the tension from yesterday has mouldered away into a tiny speck at the back of Billy's head. "I could send you the script and character info via email and we can talk about when to meet up for actual production later."

"Oh, okay. Er... here, I'll just write down my email." Billy takes a sticky note from the counter top and scribbles his email address onto it, handing it to Spencer with a smile. Glancing down at the chicken-scratch penmanship, Spencer looks back at Billy and half-smiles.

"Thanks. See you later."

Billy waves goodbye as Spencer turns around to leave, sticky note in hand. When Spencer has completely exited the store, Billy raises a hand to his mouth; trying to cover the callow grin that's now taking up half of his face. For once in Billy's life, things seem to be going exactly how he wants them to. He tries replaying the conversation in his head, and would probably get lost in his thoughts again if not for a voice coming from his right.

"I gotta say, Billy: that was pretty damn impressive."

"Huh?" Billy turns to face Dante, who's now behind the counter with Billy again, his arms crossed and face quirked into a smirk.

"I mean, Xanders _just_ told us we had to do this asinine promotion thing, and you already have a solid idea. Like I said, impressive."

The tweed-clad employee jokingly places his hands on his hips. "Eavesdropping on another bro, huh?"

"Man, I could've been in China and would _still_ have been able hear your voice without it being 'eavesdropping.'"

Wearing his trademark pout, Billy turns from Dante and looks down at the floor. "Would not."


End file.
